Cariera se poate începe și așa

By | 2018-04-11T16:17:36+00:00 septembrie 20th, 2017|

La ora șase sună ceasul și-mi dau seama că încă o zi din viața mea începe. Și nu oricum. Din păcate cu același semnal sonor. Snooze!… Mai vreau cinci minute de somn. Ceasul sună din nou dar… Mai vreau cinci minute de somn…

După o oră tresar ca trăsnit și încep să mă gândesc la o altă scuză pentru că din nou voi întârzia la serviciu. Mă mustrez cu voce tare, trântesc tot ce-mi iese în cale și nu mă pot hotărî dacă să mă spăl pe ochi cu apă rece sau caldă. În fiecare dimineață port același dialog cu mine însumi. Dialog la sfârșitul căruia îmi promit că de mâine mă voi trezi când va suna ceasul prima oară. Toate acestea, până mă urc la volan. Aici starea mea de spirit ajunge la cele mai înalte tonuri ale disperării și urii sociale. Toate mașinile din jurul meu ba merg prea încet, ba prea pe stânga, ori nu semnalizează, ori sunt vinovați pentru că există. Până să ajung să fac o criză de nervi, fumez două țigări (care la acea oră, chiar au un efect halucinogen). Aparent mă calmez și încep să mă gândesc la ce va urma să fac.

Între timp, printre țigări, mașini și gânduri, ajung la birou. Salut mormăit pe toată lumea care îmi iese în cale, evit orice dialog mai lung de trei secunde, îmi torn o cafea aproape caldă și îmi deschid laptopul. Știu sigur că aveam programate câteva lucruri de făcut dar brusc, nu îmi mai amintesc niciunul dintre ele. Încet, încet înlocuiesc starea de spirit de mai sus cu o dispoziție pozitivă, moment în care regret toate gândurile și toate vorbele urâte pe care le-am strigat de la volan, dar mă consolez:

Bine că nu m-au auzit… Cu toate că unii chiar meritau.

A venit și redactorul și din acest moment următoarele opt ore îmi sunt pecetluite – să edităm video! Imaginile curg odată cu trecerea timpului și, în sfârșit, se apropie momentul când voi pleca. Voi pleca la a doua slujbă unde voi face cu totul altceva. La ora zero ajung acasă și, înainte să adorm, îmi potrivesc ceasul la ora șase…

Si după toate acestea unii se mai și întrebă – cine sunt eu?

O întrebare pe care ar trebui să ne-o adresăm cât mai des și la care ar trebui sa fim tot timpul pregătiți să răspundem. Dar la ora șase sună din nou alarma. Și atunci de ce să ne mai adresăm o astfel de întrebare?… De ce să răspundem?… De ce trebuie să știm să răspundem?…

Și mai vreau cinci minute de somn. Și ce rost au întrebările dacă nu avem timp să răspundem? De ce să fumăm douăzeci de țigări dacă doar primele două își fac efectul? Și cu ce drept mă întrebi „cine sunt eu?”

Doctore, n-am venit la dumneata să-mi spui cine sunt eu. Pe mine mă doare și vreau să știu ce și de ce… N-aveți o țigară? Le-am uitat în mașină pe ale mele. Multumesc! Deci, nu pot sa dorm. Și când dorm n-am timp să visez. Ce-i de făcut?… E grav?… Puteți să-mi spuneți, nu vă feriți… Simt miros de bisturiu, așa e? Ei, asta e!…Poate că o merit… imi mai dați o țigară, vă rog. Mulțumesc!…

Poate te întrebi ce legătură are povestea de mai sus cu subiectul nostru – Cariera.

Nu are. De fapt, nu are pentru tine. Pentru mine înseamnă începutul. Așa eram în urmă cu 10 ani. Așa mi-am început eu cariera. Îți vine să crezi?… Atunci nu aveam timp să visez. Mulțumesc divinității că m-am oprit o clipă și am visat.

Acum nu am timp pentru că îmi trăiesc visul.

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